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Will of Euphemia Bellamy
'LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF EUPHEMIA BELLAMY' I guess I've gone and got myself killed. Gee, I wonder who I upset. I, Euphemia Bellamy, last daughter of the House of Bellamy, my sisters being hereby disowned as ingrates and wicked reprobates, do make this last will and testament in a state of perfect sanity, though I have had one glass of Paxin wine before I began writing. My witnesses will attest that I am perfectly capable of using my full faculties even when mildly intoxicated. The executors of my will are to be Draven Gamahon and Seifer Wolf. Get along. Please. Draven is in charge. He is the most patient man I know. Seifer, I'm going to miss you. You're crazy, but I'm going to miss you. Try not to let it affect you too badly, you know I was a soldier. However I died, I'm sure I gave 'em hell. My first thought is for the people of Paxo. I entrust them to the protection of the Black Imperium, and urge them to look to their defenses. With me gone, many will seek to encompass their ruin. Many things have been held in check by my personal arrangements. To whoever is reading this, good luck, I feel bad for you. But you can handle it. Give 'em hell. My second thought is to the Imperium. Draven should replace me. He can determine the best power arrangements. Don't be drawn into any wars you can't win; work with Dash L'hnnar to keep the Republic running scared, but if Dash L'hnnar turns against you, give him hell and don't get sentimental. He's my friend, but he wants what I wanted: control. And the Blacks will never bow to a master. With Meena Tills and his crew gone, you have a rare opportunity; don't waste it. In the event of war, go after Sienar, Mon Calamari, and Alderaan, because these are planets we can actually hold onto. If you get the opportunity, hit Coruscant and knock the Republic out of the war. Remember: always attack. Wars are won by the bold. The defender loses. Fight in their territory and even your defeats will hurt them. If you love my memory, you should kill the following people: Wilhuff Tarkin, who killed my Rem -- never forgive him; my uncle Palpatine, who will try to rule you but must be killed; give my lightsaber, activated, to Jana aka Nightfall, and put it in her insufferable face. I always hated her, and whether or not she was the one who killed me, I want her dead. If you can, drown her, and tell her that Effie loves her. Finally, kill those damn fool Senators who scuttled my peace treaty, making it slow and painful. Kill that Gand. Kill Vordo the Hutt. Kill whatever is left of the Rim Rebellion, and watch out for Magnus--he's a clever one, as snaky as he is sneaky. My homes and property on Paxo, Alderaan, and Pacusi are to be sold for the benefit of the Imperium. My Vanix properties are willed to my son Alistair. Anything else I possess, including any Coruscant property, must be given to my beloved Rem's flesh and blood Liam. He is ungrateful, but if I am dead I can give him any gift I want. Actually, now that I am dead, I am absolved of all promised secrecy. Tell him Rem was his mother and I loved her. Hah. So there. Any personal effects of mine left on Paxo or on my ships should be given to my closest friends, who will appreciate them. Everyone who mourns my death can take one thing. Put my body or whatever's left of it in a monument next to Rem's monument. If her body is ever found, put it with mine. I want our statues to lie side by side, and make sure mine is holding the hand of hers. Put these words there: Whoever finds us here, please leave our poor tomb untouched. We were warriors, and conquered the galaxy; don't begrudge us this little monument.